How to ask someone to be a reference: ask early, brief them well, thank them.
A reference is a favour, and a good one depends on preparation. The people who give the most useful references are the ones who were asked politely, told what the job is, and reminded of the work you did together.
Ask a reference before you list them, ideally before final interviews. Choose someone who saw your work closely, ask whether they feel comfortable giving a positive reference, and make it easy to say no. If they agree, send the job description, your resume and two or three points you would like them to mention, and tell them when to expect a call.
4 copy-ready templates
Illustrative: names, companies, dates and numbers in these templates and examples are fictional. Replace every bracket with your own true details before you send anything.
Ask a former manager
When to use: Your strongest reference for most roles.
Subject: Would you be a reference for me? Hi [Name], I hope you're well. I'm applying for [type of role] roles and am getting close to final interviews. Since you managed my work on [project], I wondered if you'd be comfortable being a reference. Completely understand if the timing doesn't work. Thank you, [Your name]
Brief a reference who said yes
When to use: Send this as soon as they agree.
Hi [Name], thank you so much! The role is [Role] at [Company] (description attached, with my resume). If it helps, the things most relevant to this job are: [point 1, e.g. how I ran the vendor migration], [point 2] and [point 3]. They'll probably call within the next two weeks. [Your name]
Heads-up before a call
When to use: When the employer tells you they are about to contact references.
Hi [Name], quick heads-up: [Company] said they'll contact you this week about the [Role] position. The hiring manager seemed most interested in [topic]. Thanks again for doing this. [Your name]
Thank-you after the call
When to use: Whatever the outcome.
Hi [Name], thank you for speaking to [Company]. [I got the job / I'm still waiting to hear], and I'm really grateful for your help. Let me know if I can ever return the favour. [Your name]
Disclosure: TryHired makes HIRED, a paid job-search program, so we have a conflict of interest when we mention it. Every template on this page is free to use without buying anything.
Who to ask
| Situation | What to do |
|---|---|
| Former manager | Best choice for most roles. |
| Senior peer or project lead | Good when your manager has left or isn't an option. |
| Client or stakeholder | Useful for client-facing roles. |
| Professor or supervisor | For students and recent graduates. |
| Family or friends | Avoid for professional references. |
The same message, rewritten
Illustrative example with fictional details.
| Version | Example |
|---|---|
| Weak | Hey, I put you down as a reference, hope that's ok! |
| Strong | Since you managed my work on the onboarding redesign, would you be comfortable being a reference as I move into final interviews? Completely understand if the timing doesn't work. |
Why it matters: Listing someone without asking can lead to a surprised, lukewarm reference. Asking first, with an easy out, gets you people who are ready to speak well of you.
Mistakes to avoid
- Listing someone without asking.
- Giving a reference no details about the job.
- Using the same references for every application without updating them.
- Forgetting to thank them.
Write yours faster
Questions people ask
How many references should I have ready?
Can I use a coworker as a reference?
What if my current employer doesn't know I'm job hunting?
How should I thank a reference?
How this page is built
Written by Maid Dizdarevic, a career coach and 8x LinkedIn Top Voice. The templates and timing guides are practical advice, labelled as advice. We do not publish response rates or success rates, and every example uses fictional details.
- How a specific employer or recruiter will respond: practices vary by company, industry and person.
- Legal advice: for contracts, severance releases or disputes, talk to an employment attorney or the relevant agency.
- Outcomes: no message, template or program can promise an interview or a job.
- TryHired editorial guidance by Maid Dizdarevic, career coach, Nov 2, 2026.